Forecast: Solar Eclipse with Collapse

The process of getting better is so dang weird & that is the only way i know how to describe it. In the beginning of rehab, you are immediately taught how to do things the safest way. As you improve overtime you eventually get to do the things the way you used to. There are a few particular things that stand out to me:

- When I started out on Cleveland’s rehab floor, I was constantly told to “hook” my left foot with my right leg to the side of the bed as I was unable to move my left leg, or else i wasn’t getting out of bed easily. I was requiring two people from the nursing department to get me into my wheelchair-which was often quite frightening to me. With time & hard work I started getting stronger, requiring less assistance upon transfers. My left leg didn’t need “hooked” anymore... I could move it on my own & play a mean foot tambourine in music therapy, which was one heck of a feeling !

One time specifically that stood out is when a PCNA, who hadn’t worked for a few days noticed significant improvements I had made within days.. not only was that left leg moving, but my voice which was only a whisper for weeks prior, came back! This PCNA I named “Versace,” in my head because she smelled so fresh. When Versace came into my room to give me a bath, get me dressed, etc... not only was I able to turn on my side all by myself, but my voice came back. I remember Versace flipping out in excitement questioning if I was the same “Lindsay,” the patient she had days prior. I’ll never forget how proud of me she was with these new improvements. In fact, the entire team was in awe. It’s crazy how often we take the little things in life for granted. I also cannot stress enough how much easier getting dressed (with their help) became. I have no idea how the nurses & PCNA’s did it, but in the beginning they’d basically be professionals @ flipping dead weight on their (my) side to get me ready for the day. I think secretly they were fed up with my sports bra selection I insisted on wearing for therapy, but they didn’t complain once & somehow managed to never get me tangled/trapped. It felt so good to finally be in clothes & out of the gowns. I could feel my core strength getting stronger & I believe this is how I formed mini abs, which are now flabs.

Back then it was A LOT of work... today, it’s a piece of molten cake.

One other thing that is weird to me was during inpatient therapy I was practicing going up & down stairs safely... one step @ a time, holding onto the rail. When my outpatient therapist , KC told me to do stairs the “regular” way & alternate my feet, I had no clue how or what she was talking about or how to even do it... in my head I was thinking, “are you kiddin’ me? You mean after all this time, I’ve been climbing stairs wrong?!” I could not remember how to do this like i used to & how everyone else seems to climb stairs. KC showed me what she was talking about & I caught on quickly- a little too quickly, gaining confidence & getting told to “slow down!” by KC! I would often joke with KC & CG that I was going to do something if I was ever in @ the end of their shift, causing them to stay longer to fill out an incident report. This is something that always seemed to happen to me @ my previous job or a last minute intense meeting whenever I had somewhere to be - or dipping out a little early on a Friday. Fortunately for KC, CG, and MBM this never ended up happening & hopefully it stays that way now that I work out independently in this same gym.

Speaking of incidents ... my last day of therapy @ CC I was taught how to get up after i fell (upon discharge), because it was likely it’d happen @ some point. I won’t lie, this was probably one of the toughest sessions with K. W. - I’m happy we saved this for one of our last sessions together ... I was whooped! K. W. told me to bring my phone EVERYWHERE with me in case nobody is around during my fall. My mom is aware of KW’s advice and how literal I took it... -so whenever I get lectured on my phone being out too often, k. Dubz words come back to haunt my mom! :)

It wasn’t even a month later from being discharged that my best friend, B. S. (yes those are her true initials) would visit me @ my House when I walked away to the bathroom. Discreetly , (so she thought), I heard B. S. ask my mom, “How many times has she fallen so far?” Zero, zero falls was the answer for months to every friend, therapist, & Doctor who had asked. This includes zero falls @ the zoo with the walking texting zombies that are everywhere now days, people not paying attention @ weddings bumping into me, no falls/kankle rolls in the kids’ sand castle holes that the Gulf washed up on my beach walks in Florida, water ballon toss contests, running, moderate hiking trails, etc. NOTHING! My luck (skill) had been far too good....

UNTIL I was discharged from therapy... I believe it was a Wednesday morning, a day after going hard in the gym on leg day the day prior. I made the terrible mistake while putting on my underwear, right leg first - which meant I was already balancing on my weak leg, which was naturally even weaker from “leg day. “ I still question myself on who the heck I though i was this morning. I ALWAYS sit in a chair while changing- not to mention that chair was right next to me! Within a matter of seconds, my stomach got that “drop” feeling you get when riding the Power Tower @ Cedar Point. Somehow, I couldn’t have landed better than I did in the laundry basket full of clothes that was directly behind me. Next thing i know, I’m butt naked, spread eagle, stuck in a dang laundry basket. I did not have my cell phone nearby. Luckily/embarrassingly enough my mom came to find me. After cracking up & scolding me on: “why didn’t you scream for help?!” to “you ruined my favorite song!” And lastly... “oh my gosh, get some clothes on!” I told her to treat my naked bod as if it was the solar eclipse that happened earlier this week.. not to look, because my bod will blind you. I got dressed, suffering zero injuries, except to my ego, as well as losing my dignity. She held on tightly to to my right arm & yanked me out of the basket ordering me to, “sit in the chair!”

The next morning I went back to the gym & broke the news to K. C. She tried her best to keep a straight face & attempted to make me feel better about my mishap by saying.. “ do you know how common that is with the patients we see?!” K. C. I love ya , BUT @ my age, kinda young & full of pride,

and one of the youngest in the gym... I did not feel much better learning this.

Needless to say, I now ease up on “leg day,” & stay in my chair! B. S. If you’re reading this the answer is “one fall, 10 months, status-post surgery!” Plan is to keep it that way !

Stay tuned for more! Good things have been happening for me! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving with a moist turkey.